STEPHANIE FITCH
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Ms. Fitch's
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English 4 Class

Final Essay: Thesis Help

5/9/2017

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Thesis statement must have an arguable opinion based on evidence, which is expected to be expanded on and explained in depth throughout the essay.

Example 1: Prejudice happens in America.
  • Not a good thesis. It’s just a statement of facts.

​E​xample 2
: Prejudice and intersectionality are caused by race, gender, 
 and religion.
  • Just a statement, also using the term “intersectionality” incorrectly, or rather, the phrase “caused by” is the wrong way of phrasing it. Intersectionality is the idea that we are a combination of different types of social identities, and the collision of those identities have different effects

​Example 3: Although conversations have started around various types of prejudice, the concept of intersectionality also needs to be brought up because issues between race and gender are different, and worse, than the issues of discrimination against a race or gender individually.
  • Much better. Uses the ideas of intersectionality correctly. Poses an opinion on the intersection between race and gender being more important than either prejudice alone.
  • This essay might compare and contrast Kathy from Zeitoun to Janie from Their Eyes Were Watching God to look at a comparison of different races within a gender.
  • To do this, this essay might compare and contrast how those two women are treated in their personal relationships/marriages. Then this essay might use Janie and the narrator from Invisible Man to examine different genders within a race. To do this, this essay might look at how being a woman of a certain race has stereotypes and expectations of weakness, but being a man of a minority race is seen as a threat.
  • This essay will mostly use lit crits as an outside source, but can also use research and articles on gender and race, as well as the TED talk on intersectionality that gives an example using gender and race.

Example 4: The biggest issue in regards to prejudice in America is how the intersectionality of social identities, such as race, gender, and religion, is ignored. These issues are predominantly seen through the legal system, where wrongful arrests and shootings target minorities.  However, depending on the variety of minority groups a person belongs to, they will experience different types of prejudice and may even have a higher chance of being discriminated against by America’s legal system.
  • Also better. Poses an opinion on how the intersection of identities leads to more prejudice and a higher chance of problems in the legal system. I know what to expect of this essay.
  • ​This essay will definitely use examples from Zeitoun and Invisible Man and the wrongful arrest and shooting in those novels, and may also use Frederick Douglass's autobiography from English III to give some historical context and background of the roots of racism in American society.
  • This essay has many opportunities to use outside sources regarding recent shootings of minorities in America, as well as information on how the BLM is trying to stop the injustice.
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